And frankly...

“If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people.” 

Today marks the eighteen day countdown to India, and with the inevitable departure date of the 4th of September looming on the horizon, a certain little nomad is starting to feel a wee bit anxious.

While battling my way through Birmingham's rush hour traffic to reach the embassy before it closed to collect my VISA, I started to feel the familiar little fizzle at the pit of my stomach that constantly reminds me that this is really, really happening. It's exciting and it's amazing and I've worked so hard to get here, but equally, it's really bloody terrifying.

I've known at the back of my mind for the past two and a half years that I would always potentially be leaving home at nineteen to go and live in a foreign country, and equally, it's always been everything I've ever wanted - to travel the world as soon as I left school. But beneath the pink tinted fantasy of Instagram filtered photos of me lying on the beach and finding myself in a temple, the reality is is that I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and moving away from everything that I'm used to and feel safe and happy and comfortable in and throwing myself into, quite frankly, a stranger of country that I know absolutely nothing about.

So, with all that in mind, I have decided to be honest and write down all the things that I'm currently afraid and worried about. Some are serious and some are lighthearted, but I'm hoping that I can look back at this a year later and ask my self what on Earth I was so worried about.

Being so homesick that I have to come home.

Hating the overwhelming culture shock so much that I have to come home.

Something happening to my mum/dad/sister/dogs/immediate family/the nice postman/the lady that served me in Tesco the other day while I'm away.

Never finding out who killed Lucy Beale on EastEnders as the storyline will be dragged out until after I leave.

(Although, with a bit of luck, they'll drag it out for so long that I'll be able to find out just in time for when I get back home next year.)

Slipping out of routines that I so very much adore, such as treating my self to a Caffe Nero after work 'because I deserve it' a little too often.

(Well. I do deserve it. Don't I?)

Being used as a drug mule.

(This one probably has more to do with the fact I just watched Bridget Jones - The Edge of Reason. But this is a serious fear and one that my mother laughs at when I tell her about it. I just feel like I'm the sort of person who would gladly help an innocent looking old lady carry their bag through customs if they asked and, oh God, I don't want to spend weeks and weeks in a foreign prison singing 'Like A Virgin' with the other prisoners with only one phone call home.)

My body being unable to handle the sticky and humid heat and ending up as a big, sweaty, grumpy mess.

(This is inevitably going to happen so I've just got to suck it up and pack plenty of cooling mist.)

Being robbed, harassed or mugged.

Reacting badly to beggars, street dogs or street children.

Snakes/spiders/rats/bugs/anything with a million legs that moves.

(This one needs no explanation.)

And finally...

Accidentally getting married without realising it when someone presents me with a goat.

(I mean, it happened in a dream, but I can totally picture it happening in real life.)

I feel like a slight weight has been lifted off my shoulders now I have all of this down on electronic paper, and, in hindsight, I'm 93.4% certain that I don't need to worry about any of these things and that I'll return home next year absolutely desperate to return, if anything. I know I need to fly the nest at some point, and if there's anyway to do it, it's doing it like this. All I've ever wanted to do with my life was to travel the world and I am truly, truly blessed to be able to say that in eighteen days I am moving to India for a year, so for now, I need to shove my worries aside and focus on the incredible adventures I'm about to have.

With that being said, the next few weeks are going to be tough and emotional - saying goodbye to people for the last time for a year, getting everything ready and going to places I've visited nearly everyday for the past four years for the last time. I've already turned into a soggy blubbing mess when my best friend and I talk about the year to come or when someone goes 'Gosh, it's soon, isn't it?!' - but don't be fooled, I am, of course, so excited. The adult in me is ready for adventure and about to burst with excitement, but the child in me wants to stay at home with everything that's comforting to her.

Maybe I'll let them battle it out.

Thank you for reading this rambling mess,

L x

ps. I created a public platform where I will be posting all of my videos, blog posts and pictures during my time in India. It's called Nomad Gone Mad on Facebook and you can check it out here.

Training - A Reflection

Dear all,

It's coming up to a nearly a month since my training for India on the Isle of Coll, a week jam packed with every single piece of information I could possibly need, trecking up sand dunes to watch the sunset, evenings on the beach with loved ones, meeting my partner for the very first time, tears and a whole lotta' ceilidh dancing. Thus, it's also coming up to a month since I last updated you (this whole posting regularly thing is going super well, as you can see). Since then, I have completed my fundraising (finally!) and had my final round of jabs, and as I'm writing this in a Caffe Nero in Birmingham, I'm currently waiting to go and have my VISA processed.

My training week was a whirlwind of emotions which left me feeling very tearful, scared and extremely excited. Some of the sessions left me longing for the life I'm finally going to live in a months time, and some of them left me feeling like 'nope, I'm not going, cancel my plane ticket and get me back home to the comfort of my warm bed in a country I actually know.' (This was mainly after the 'physical health' power point presentation which showed us how to avoid getting ring worm in our feet. Yum.)

My dad and I made our way up to Scotland on Sunday the 12th of July, a journey which mainly consisted of stopping at five Starbucks along the way and driving my dad crazy whilst trying to do my best Scottish impression (singing the Proclaimers and reading out every road sign in a crap Scottish accent). Once we arrived in the beautiful town of Oban, we quickly realised that it was roughly twenty degrees colder in the far, far North of Scotland then it was in the West Midlands. Bracing the cold, we dumped our bags in a scary hotel which seemed to resemble Faulty Towers with 70's decor (it also had no shower, so that's good) and forced our way through the gale winds to a restaurant we visited the year before when I came to the Isle of Coll for my selection course.

Dinner with a view - Oban

I woke up the next morning with butterflies in my stomach knowing that in just a few hours I was going to meet the girl I was going to spend a year with. As Project Trust put it, the partnership is essentially like an arranged marriage. Project Trust choose you and your partner specifically for your placement and you don't get to meet until training. After the three hour ferry journey we touched down on the Isle of Coll and it was pretty much run from the word 'go'. We were suddenly thrown into an intense four days of jam packed schedules, sessions and a lot of paper work to do. Though it was sometimes stressful, it was wonderful to learn so much about my project and the country I'll be living in for a year. Every single question I had was answered, and I met the incredible people I'm going to be living with for a year, including my partner, Elena. She was staying across the hall from my dorm and I nervously approached her asking if she was going to be teaching at Devnar, scared that my happy and bubbly and downright over excited personality would intimidate her or scare her off. To my relief we clicked straight away and spent the week getting to know each other, and really hit it off. I'm so, so pleased Project Trust have placed me with such a fantastic girl, someone who I know will be a real friend and someone to rely on amidst the madness of our year in India.

Zoe and I. We climbed to the top of a scary hill to watch the sunset. And to get signal.

Lesson planning going well...

Me, Zoe and the India boys - Callum and Alex. They're the only two boys coming to India with us - brave or stupid?

Evening beach vibes - Elena's photo

Elena and I.

My India family, 2015/2016

One distinctive moment that stands out to me from training was when we went to watch the sunset one evening. I remember sitting on the top of the sand dune, surrounded by all the amazing people I had met that week, and the only thing that came into my head was - 'I just can't believe that this is my life.' There I was, nineteen years old, completely and utterly happy with life, watching the sunset with people I love and about to move to India for a year. I never, ever want to forget how I felt in that moment - I'll carry it with me through all the adventures I'm about to have.

On the way home, Dad and I played 'All in White' by The Vaccines in the car, as it was exactly a year ago when I was on my way home from the selection course listening to the exact same song, driving through the Scottish country side and I just knew something extraordinary was about to happen.

A year later and I was right.

All in all, training was a huge success and I arrived home feeling happy and content and so so ready for what's about to come. Now, with nearly everything sorted, all there's left for my to do is get on the plane and actually go.

Who knew, eh?

Stay happy,

L x

'A journey of a thousands miles must begin with a single step.'

Isle of Coll, July 2015.